Yes please… Pretty please?
Where Have All The Beards Gone?
Cute Cats & EXPLOSIONS!
First up, CUTE CATS!
A cat beating the crap out of it’s self.
… And ninja cat.
Now here’s a few I just find awesome.
Boom Headshot!
And now, the top four.
4:
Bronze:
Silver:
Gold: This is THE coolest GIF on the internet. Click on GIF.
It Can Always Be Worse.
Women think they have bad these days. Well I’m here to tell you that it could be worse. Here are a few ads from not that long ago. Time to feel better about how far we’ve come!
“GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY.”
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG
WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, “THAT’S ONE SMALL STEP
FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,” WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.
BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK
“GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY.”
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME
RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN
EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE “GOOD
LUCK, MR. GORSKY” STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS
FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG.
THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED. MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL
ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION.
IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MIDWEST TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING
BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL,
WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR’S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS.
HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS.GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK
UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY.
“SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU’LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!”
TRUE STORY.
Zombie Apocalypse: Part 2, 1.0 Second – 1 Hour
So there you are, sitting in you
cubicle. Your suppose to be doing work, something undoubtedly
pointless. Logging on to Facebook you hope to see a little red
notification alerting you to the fact that somebody cares about
something you did or said. There were no notifications. You hear a
cough come from the across the office. You look at the clock, “Six
more hours to go…” you mumble to yourself. Why so eager to get
home? Its because of the video game you bought last night, you really
want to play it. A little later you hear more coughing and some
gagging and suddenly screaming. You pop up from your ergonomic,
lumbar supporting chair to see what all the commotion is about.
Suddenly, you see your office manager springs from the break room and
onto that new co-worker you’ve been digging. “What the shit” you
think to yourself… then you see him rip a chunk out of her neck,
“WHAT THE SHIT!!!”
Well this is it, the *zombie
apocalypse has begun and your right there to see it happen. Your
fucked right? Well I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be.
Believe it or not, are ways to survive in the world crumbling around
you. Sadly, I have no idea what those ways are. I can however tell
you what I think and about some cool weapons and gear that will help
you turn your zombie office manager into a bright red mush pile.
*To save time and semantics we are going to assume this is an
outbreak of Fast Infected Zombies (FIZ’s) as opposed to Slow Undead
Zombies (SUD’s). For a better understanding of the differences
between FIZ’s and SUD’s please read Zombie Apocalypse: Part 1.
Zombie Event #1: Your
office manager just took a large bite out of your kinda cute
co-workers neck and is now looking around all crazy eyed.
What To Do 1.0 – 5.0 Seconds:
RUN! Do not be one of those ass hats that looks at your sweaty, blood
covered boss and asks “Bob? Bob are you alright?” If you do this
then you will die. Turn around and haul ass in the opposite direction
of the guy trying to eat people. This is also a general rule of
thumb, even if there is no zombie outbreak, run away from the biter.
WTD 5.1 Sec – 5 Minutes:
Find a short term safe place. This would be your car. If you think
going UP the stairs or hiding in your office/closet is safe then your
dumb. Your car provides a small, well known environment for you to
take stock of your situation. Also, it has locks and you can drive
it.
WTD 6 Min – 30 Min:
Take stock. Is this really happening? Or are you a paranoid pussy
that just made an ass of himself in front of all his co-workers? Well
if you did like I said, you will be sitting in your car, two feet from a radio! Also, if you don’t already have a Twitter account
I would recommend starting one ASAP. News spreads faster on Twitter
then any other known media. If this is really starting to go down
people will be tweeting things like, “@perssonidontcareabout Zombie
just ate my girlfriends dog #FTW” or “OMG #Zombies are eating
people! I wonder if they have a #Groupon lolz.” and of course
“@scaredguyinhiscar Zombies attacking? Get a new iPad here
http://tinyurl.com/8hy3.”
WTD 31 Min – 32 Min:
Crap! Okay, good news. Your tweeps have confirmed that there is a
zombie apocalypse and that your not crazy. Bad news, see good news.
WTD 33 Min – 1 Hour:
Its at this point you need to ask yourself a question. How badly do I
want to live? If your going to survive your going to have to make
some fucked up choices. Think it over, maybe *cry a little but do it
now. Your wont have a chance to do it later.
*Your allowed to cry three times during
this whole ordeal. Once in the beginning, once as your being eaten
alive (Crying while being eaten will void any and all hero/bad-ass
acts you have committed) and once when and if your ordeal is over.
Coming Later this week, ZA: Part 3, 1 Hour – 1 Day
The Story Of Officer 250
Today I received a $50 parking ticket. $25 for a just reason and $25 for an unjust reason. Why did Officer 250 feel the need to fine me $25 for expired plates that were not in fact expired? Here’s what I think happened. I also mailed this in with my check…
To whoever writes parking tickets at 3:50am,
It was still dark in the early morning of May 13, 2011. The cool night air chilled Officer 250’s body as he stepped out of his car. “The cold grip of winter hasn’t fully let us go.” He thought to himself. Officer 250 inhaled deeply and stretched his tired back; these late shifts were starting to wear on him. He shook the feeling off as he remembered the reason he did this job, all the good he could do, all the pain he could prevent. It wasn’t long ago that Officer 250 felt his own pain, the feeling that made him promise to up hold the law and stand against injustice!
It was a bone numbing morning when young Officer 250 stepped out of his south Boston three family so many years ago. “Shit” he muttered to himself. It had snowed again, a full two feet this time. “Well, the snow won’t move it’s self huh?” he said to a passerby. “Shut-up” said the stranger. Officer 250 never needed reminding of where he lived. Shaking off the rudeness he set to work shoveling out his street parked car. It took him well over an hour but young Officer 250 had hollowed out the perfect alcove for his car, “This is my parking spot, there are many like it but this one is mine” he smiled as he parodied the line from an old movie. He slowly pulled his car from the lovingly created spot, once clear; he got out and placed an old folding medal chair in the now vacant space (A long and well respected Southie tradition). Having woken up early for class, young Officer 250 was a little pissed off when he turned on his car radio only to find that his morning and afternoon classes had been canceled. Sighing in frustration, he turned his car around and headed home. Pulling onto his street he looked for his parking space, he had the only yellow medal chair on the block after all. Arriving at the end of his street he couldn’t figure out how he had missed it. Officer 250 pulled around, this time looking for his house, spotting it a few seconds later he looked to the front of his house. Then it hit him… somebody had moved his chair and taken his parking spot! Young Officer 250 step out of his car and stared in disbelief. “Who would do such a thing” he shouted. He moved closer to the offending car, it was a green, 1996 Mercury Cougar. “You son-of-a-bitch! I swear here and now that I will make you pay for what you have done here today… you will pay.”
The rest was history, the next day he dropped out of med school and join the force. And now, on this cool morning in May, Officer 250 walked up to a green, 1996 Mercury Cougar. Its owner most likely inside sleeping, blissfully unaware of the pain he has caused. Officer 250 looked at his watch, “damn, it’s Friday” he said to himself. The owner of the car was legally allowed to park here. Officer 250 walked around the car looking for something, anything… then he spotted it. Expired inspection sticker, “Got him” he thought. Officer 250 never enjoyed writing a parking ticket this much but the $25 fine just didn’t seem like enough. He looked at the car’s license plate, expires September 2011… “Looks like September 2010 to me” he said with a chuckle. He marked the two $25 fines and slipped the ticket under the wiper blade. Officer 250 turned and started walking back to his car, “Justice has been served today” he thought to himself. He glanced back at the old green Cougar “Justice has been served.”
Sincerely – Joel Sullivan
The Many Faces Of Sully
Zombie Apocalypse Part:1
Lets face it people, the zombie apocalypse is coming. Don’t believe me? Take a step back and look at the world. Every day people are getting more and more violent towards each other with no real reason as to why. Sure, you can try and blame violent media. All of the violent movies, video games, music and TV are making everybody numb to hate and violent acts right? Wrong, this is happening all around the world! In places were there is no violent media people are still hacking each other up like its no big deal. People everywhere are getting more and more angry and hurtful toward each other. All its going to take is a spark to turn all of that hate and anger into a world ending apocalypse… Like maybe a plague, or if you want to go the God route, Revelations.
You see how people react when there told a snow storms on the way. Everybody rushes to the store to buy food and water for a storm that drops 5 inches of snow. Could you imagine what would happen if you told the world that people were starting to eat each other and that nobody was coming to help you? Still think it can’t happen? Okay, now that we know it could happen, let’s talk about what to do when it does happen.
Zombie Types:
Now there are two main “zombie” types, I have them listed below.
Slow Undead Zombies. (SUZ’s) I guess you could call these your “Classic” zombies. SUZ’s have been bitten, died and then come back to life to walk the Earth as the undead. Being undead SUZ’s are slow and dumb. They tend to lumber around aimlessly until they stumble across something to eat. However, being slow and dumb does not mean these guys aren’t sneaky bustards. Because of there slow nature, SUZ’s are great at ambushing unsuspecting survivors. They do this from shadowy places when said survivors stop to talk about how close they just came to death in that last zombie encounter. The other downside to SUZ’s is that there a pain in the ass to kill. You must shoot these guys in the head; anything else is just a waste of ammo.
Fast Infected Zombies. (FIZ’s) These would be your “New Age” zombies. FIZ’s aren’t technically dead, there infected with some type of virus or disease. Typically, the victim contracts said virus/disease by being bitten or coming in contact with infected blood. Once infected the victims brain starts to shut down until only base instincts remain, this causes them to become ultra violent and hungry. I’m not going to lie, FIZ’s suck! Because there not dead they can be fast and are capable of at least base level thinking. While this wouldn’t stop FIZ’s from storming into a hail of gunfire, they won’t aimlessly walk off a cliff either. The one good thing about FIZ’s it that there only a little harder to kill then you or me. Because FIZ’s are technically alive they and still bleed out. So put a few rounds into there chest and move on.
Now you may be thinking “What does it matter? Zombies are zombies right?” Wrong again, the type of zombie apocalypse can affect everything from the supplies you carry (aka your loadout.) to the survivors you allow to tag along.
Would You Want To Live With Me?
Hey, my names Joel and I’m looking to rent out the second room in my house. Here’s the low down…
The Room: Not going to lie… Its a bit on the small side (13′ by 9′). There is room for a bed, dresser and TV. I know because it used to be my room. Again, I know the room is on the small side so please don’t come all the way out my house, look at the place and then tell me you think the room is a bit small.
The House: This is a full share so my house is now are house. There is a good sized living room, right now there are two couches, a coffee table and a 42” LCD TV with Xbox 360 and HD DVR. There’s a big middle room with lot of light. Its a great space for a computer desk or two, maybe some plants and stuff if you want. There’s a large eat in kitchen with all the things that come in kitchens. All it needs is a table and it will be good to go. The bathroom is a bathroom…. there’s pink tile in there. There’s no laundry in the house, Phil (The landlord) has a washer and dryer down stairs so if you want to work something out with him feel free. There is off street parking in a big lot one house over, its first come first serve but I’ve never had a problem getting a space.
The Bills: First and last months rent is due March 1st, that’s $1000.00 (If you want to hand it over before to lock up the place that’s cool to.) After that the rent is $500.00 a month. The utilities (Gas, Power, Cable and Internet)come to $90 – $130 per month depending on how much heat we use. Please reread everything that was written above because this is what needs to be paid EVERY month.
Me: I’m 24, I manage a couple of UPS Store and typically work 48 – 55 hours a week. I’m very laid back, easy to get along with and I like to joke around. I like to read, write, play video games, hang out with friends and have friends over. Yeah… I’m pretty awesome.
You: Please be around my age, I don’t really feel like baby sitting or hanging out with a 45 year old. Male or female, doesn’t matter to me. No Pets please, I don’t care how quiet you dog is. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that fine but please understand, you and me will be living here… not them. Other then that as long as you can pay the bills and aren’t crazy you cool in my book.
Summary: All joking aside, this is a great place to live. I’ve lived here for three years and plan on staying for a few more. The landlord Phil is the man, he will never give you a hard time and he’s always in Florida anyway. The area is great to, your 7 miles from down town Boston, 1/3 of a mile from Medford Sq and even less for 93. I also just cleaned and painted the whole house so that’s cool… If you want photos feel free to email me, if you want to see the place email me and we can set something up.
